Blessings or Burdens? Part 2

Some things to think about.

What Does Managing a Large Household Look Like in the Real World?

Can I Really Afford Children?

The second major issue pertains to practicality: Assuming that children really are a blessing and the fruitful womb “is His reward” (Psalm 127:3), how does that concept work in the real world where economic resources are scarce and time is at a premium?

Sometimes people pose the question this way: “I can barely manage and afford a family with one child. How could I possibly handle three or four, let alone (gasp!) seven?”

But there is another question that needs to be asked: Are there practical, economic, and spiritual blessings for the family that flow from an economy of scale?

I believe there are. And these are precisely the types of blessings and benefits that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have modeled for all of us in their beautiful new book, The Duggars: 20 and Counting: Raising One of America’s Largest Families — How they do it.

From a practical perspective, this book offers definitive answers. And it is absolutely delightful, transparent, hands on, and full of humor. After reading it, you will walk away loving your own family more and will gain great ideas for household management. My wife gobbled it up:

This is a totally delightful book, easy to follow, and full of personal stories about their life as well as practical, tangible information about THEIR family which can be easily adapted into MY family, or anyone else’s. It is honest, humorous, humble, and completely in earnest. . . . You will read about their life story, from Michelle and Jim Bob’s childhood up to right now, their many businesses, their solution to laundry, education, music, and even food preparation. (Read more of Beall’s review here.)

There is a reason why this family has captured the imagination of America through their top-ranked television show, 17 Kids and Counting. They are communicating a Christ-exalting vision of home. And they are the real deal! A family that loves their children — all eighteen of them. There is so much negativism in the world, but the Duggars are using their life as a large family to show the beauty and practicality of the Christian household to a generation where many children never even experience the blessing of sitting down with their whole family for dinner.

What Does the Bible Say about the Blessing of Fruitfulness?
Does this Apply Today?

The final issue is the most important one:

What does the Bible say about having babies?

For Christians, the Bible is our standard for faith and practice. Everything necessary on the subject of having babies is found in God’s Holy Word. It is both the starting place and the “final court of appeal” for prayerful Christians who desire to make wise decisions regarding the womb.

Related issues include: Why are children a blessing? What does it mean to be fruitful? How does the Bible specifically link low birthrates to national judgment? Does the Bible promote, condone, or encourage baby banning? Is it a good idea to have babies in times of economic hardship?

These questions and others are answered in our CD, Children and the Dominion Mandate, and the book Be Fruitful and Multiply, both of which are included in this week’s special offer. If you have ever found yourself wondering how to respond to such questions, or if you have friends or relatives that disapprove of the number of children in your family, these indispensable tools will help you to use Scripture to reason through the many complex issues which are on the table.

Don Feder noted, "In 30 years, worldwide, birth rates have fallen by more than
50%. In 1979, the average woman on this planet had 6 children.
Today, the average is 2.9 children, and falling." He explained the situation
noting, "demographers tell us that with a birthrate of 1.3, everything else
being equal, a nation will lose half of its population every 45 years"

This article was from Vision Forum.

Another interesteing blog post here.

Blessings or Burdens? Part 1

What do you think?



As the world faces a potential demographic winter of underpopulation, political leaders move to clamp down on babies, and liberal social commentators use the language of hatred and fear-mongering to further anti-family campaigns aimed at proponents of fruitful families, many Christians remain undecided as to whether or not babies are a blessing or burden in troubled times.

After more than fifteen hundred years, Japanese culture is on the verge of extinction. There are not enough children. And similar fates may be in store for France, Italy, and elsewhere. These nations and others are on the brink of a demographic implosion with far-reaching economic implications — and they know it! There are simply not enough babies being born to maintain their economies.

But they are not alone. In the United States, the birthrate has been experiencing a dramatic and steady twelve-year decline. Despite this fact, last week, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi defended her proposal that an important ingredient of the nation’s $825 billion “economic stimulus package” would include a taxpayer-subsidized effort to prevent the birth of more children. Why? She argues that children are bad for the economy. [For a more in-depth look at this international crisis, click here]

Three Key Issues Addressed

Are babies a blessing or a burden? This is a simple question, but one fraught with tremendous controversy and significant implications for nations and families.

There are really three issues on the table: First, the demographic implications of having babies; second, the practical issues concerning babies and the family during a recessionary economy (or at any time); and third — and most importantly — the scriptural foundations for a Christian worldview of the womb.

What May Happen to America and Other Nations Because of the Dramatic Decrease in Childbirth?

This first issue goes right to the heart of the present culture war: Will we be a self-indulgent nation with little regard for the sanctity of life, or will we recognize the God-ordained blessing of the biblical institution of the family with its emphasis on fruitfulness and the blessing of children?
As a nation, we have chosen the former. Now the question is this: What are the practical implications of our selfishness and disobedience? What happens to a country when the Malthusian dream is realized, and women have fewer and fewer babies?

The ultimate result is a culture-eradicating phenomenon and economic catastrophe called “Demographic Winter” — where the selfishness of a generation of families who refused God’s gift of children leads to a national birthrate that is insufficient to replace its aging population.

Don Feder put it this way:
Demographic Winter is the terminal stage in the suicide of the West — the culmination of a century of evil ideas and poisonous policies.
Here is how one demographer described the imminent catastrophe that will result from declining birthrates:

The ongoing global decline in human birthrates is the single most powerful force
affecting the fate of nations and the future of society in the twenty-first
century. —Phillip Longman, The Empty Cradle: How Falling Birthrates Threaten
World Prosperity.

This perspective may be a shocker for those raised during the libertine ‘60s and ‘70s with the message of the Pill and population control, or for those spoon-fed on a diet of Green theology in the ‘90s. It is not comfortable to radical feminists who have made the “right” of a mother to destroy her own child the highest virtue a society can embrace.

But the facts are inescapable.

And this is the subject of the documentary, Demographic Winter: The Decline of the Human Family, one of the most important and groundbreaking films of the last year, maybe of the last decade. This is the first significant film to explore the most overlooked crisis of our generation: the rapid worldwide decline in birthrates.

The data presented is chilling. Columnist Don Feder summarizes the important issues raised by the film (i.e., how “demographic winter” will impact many areas of our lives):

• What will happen in the First World as fewer and fewer workers are called on to provide pensions for more and more retirees? At what point will the burden become so onerous that young workers will simply rebel and refuse to support a system that they couldn’t possibly hope to benefit from?

• How will Russia, which is expected to lose a third of its population by mid-point of this century, defend its borders? If Russia, which occupies the largest territory of any nation, dissolves into enclaves of squabbling ethnic groups, it will destabilize both Europe and Asia.

• Due to falling birthrates, at some point in the century, the world’s population will begin to decline. Then the decline will become rapid. We could even reach population free-fall.

• Throughout the course of history, there is no instance of economic growth accompanied by population decline. How can an industrial society be maintained with fewer and fewer workers and consumers? [1]

This film does not pretend to be a Christian film with a biblical analysis, but it is so full of carefully-researched data that is indispensable to this critical culture battle that Christian parents around the nation need to own it, and watch it, and then watch it again.

This article was from Vision Forum.

Join the Patriotic Resistance

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I am not going to sit by silently as Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosiand Harry Reid re-make our nation in their liberal image.That's why I just joined a grassroots conservative effort to RESIST President Obama's liberal agenda. Please go here to join with me:

http://www.grassfire.org/111/petition.asp?PID=19544414&NID=1

The Resistance States: As an American citizen, while I will show respect to President Obama, I oppose the far-Left and socialistic elements that comprise the centerpiece of his agenda, including the massive Government spending spree that is being pushed as an economic “stimulus.” I recognize that it will take a patriotic and resilient Citizen Resistance to block implementation of this agenda and I join with others who oppose these threats to our liberties

Specifically, I Resist:

Socialistic wealth redistribution including any and all tax increases and big-government welfare programs. Silencing conservatives through the Fairness Doctrine and other efforts that restrict free speech.

Open border anarchy including amnesty for illegal aliens and promotion of multi-nation “unions”. Government-run health care that weakens our system and imposes more tax burdens on citizens.

Weakening of our military through rapid pullback from Iraq, defunding our troops and overall disarmament. Social liberalism including radical pro-abortion agenda, the end of marriage and the homosexual agenda.

Liberal court activism that undermines faith, family and liberties while expanding government control. Post-American globalismthat diminishes our global role and threatens our national sovereignty.

Environmental extremism, the CO2 tax, undermining coal and nuclear, and bans on
exploration. Weakening the 2nd Amendment through unconstitutional gun laws that take away or penalize us for owning firearms and our right to defend our family, our property, and ourselves.

Silencing conservatives through the Fairness Doctrine and other efforts that restrict free speech.

Government-run health care that weakens our system and imposes more tax burdens on citizens.

Social liberalism including radical pro-abortion agenda, the end of marriage and the homosexual agenda.

Post-American globalism that diminishes our global role and threatens our national sovereignty.

Weakening the 2nd Amendment through unconstitutional gun laws that take away or penalize us for owning firearms and our right to defend our family, our property, and ourselves.


From the Desk of:
Steve Elliott, President, Grassfire.org Alliance

+ + Sign the petition saying "No" to the bogus stimulus
and Obama's socialistic agenda. -- Steve

If you are as outraged as I am by the Obama-led rush to force the so-called stimulus bill through Congress, then please take action with me today.

The Senate is debating the bill right now and I want to rally tens of thousands of citizens in the next 48 hours to oppose this bogus big-government spending plan -- and then announce the grassroots opposition to the national media.

Please join Grassfire's Patriotic Resistance to this massive government spending spree and Obama's socialistic agenda:

This citizen petition rejects the bogus, big-government spending spree and also announced our unified Patriotic Resistance to Obama's agenda of higher taxes and more government control.

+ + Sign the petition, then call your senators!

Far-left groups like MoveOn.org are actively lobbying members of the Senate urging them to vote for this bloated spending bill. And President Obama is doing a full-court press with his allies in the liberal media.

Now with debate underway and a vote highly likely, your calls and faxes are more important than ever!

12 Things

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I don't know about you but I am always striving to be a better wife and mother. I ran across a very interesting post on "Doug's Blog". This is a post for wives. Please look at it and tell me what you think. To see the whole post click here.

As a bit of a teaser I am posting the entro and #1 and #7 for you below.

Gracious ladies, enter here. Vicious man-haters, beware. Camilia Brown is in the house, and her words are health to the homemaker, but hateful to the rapacious feminist. Camilla is part of the league of gracious, responsible lady bloggers, and the following is from an article entitled “12 Things You Should Not Do To Your Husband.” Read at your own risk:

#1 DO NOT treat your husband as one of your children. You are not running the household he is. So no matter how busy you think you are or how many tasks you might have to perform at once you should not address your husband in this way: “Honey come here! Do this! Hold that! Grab this! Deal with this or that!” Now I am all for asking our husbands for help when he is available to give it, but bossing him around is not becoming to a wife. We must conduct ourselves as his help meet and not treat him as if the reverse were true.

#7 DO NOT make him feel he doesn’t measure up to your expectations. Encourage, don’t criticize and most important...be content!

Beethoven Number 5 or Number 9?

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Geez! I had a funny experience yesterday. It felt surreal. I remember laughing during this conversation and thinking I would have never guessed that I would witness this. This was one of those "You Know You Are A Homeschooler When" moments.

I was sitting at the table with my two daughters, ages 13 and 17. My 17 yr. old loves to write. She has been working on a story for a few years now. She wants it to be published and later turned into a movie. She has done a lot of research for this book. You would be surprised at the titles of some books reserved at the library. The research that she is currently working on came in from the library yesterday. It was 2 CD's of classical music. Apparently, there is a very important scene that needs 'the perfect' music. It has to be a little bit sad and not too upbeat. She wants to say what the character is listening to during this time. The character in the story enjoys listening to classical music from time to time. I know this doesn't sound too funny, yet. I am getting to it. You need the back ground information on this one.


This is what happened. I am sitting at the table helping my 13 yr. old with some school work. My 17 yr. old comes in and sits on the other side of me. For several minutes we have been listening to Beethoven. Suddenly, like a scene from a movie I realize I am in the middle of a very passionate converstaion. My 13 yr. old is saying, "oh, no, you do NOT want Beethovens Number 5 sympony, Number 9 is much better. It has more of what you want. Number 5 is WAY too upbeat for this scene. The discussion goes on for a few minutes until I burst out laughing.

Shortly, after that there was a debate about who wrote the Sugarplum Fairy...I know the correct answer...Peter Tchaikovsky!


How funny is that? The fact that my 17 yr. old is checking classical music out at the library and then such a passionate discussion with a 13 yr. old? Surely, I have done SOMETHING right. I hope this gave you a laugh. I sure laughed about it yesterday.


Well, I am not sure what is funnier. The story above or the fact that my 13 yr. old loves country music AND classical music. She is an amazing child. :-)

Rebellious Teens? No!

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(The book above is supposed to be excellent. I haven't read it yet but it is on my "to read" book list. For more about this book clicke here. )

I found an article that sums up my feelings about those so called "rebellious teens". I just had to share it with you. Go here to see where I found it (scroll down). Bold print is mine, added for emphasis.

HOME Where They Belong
I have two teen boys - soon to be three. Levi turns 13 years old this Valentine's Day. Amazing. Three teens in my house. I've entered a new phase; a new chapter in my life is unfolding. And I LOVE it.

When Paul and I were engaged, we went to a pizza place once. We were discussing our future together, in particular, our forthcoming children should the Lord bless us with any. I thought I was so smart, so savvy. I was this 19 year old kid, chomping at the bit to be married and someday become a mom - but I was clueless. I announced to Paul on that pizza date that when our children become teens, that yes, they would be rebellious (like all teens - like ME) but that we would just do our best, and hopefully relate with them.

WRONG. Boy, did Paul set me straight at that very moment. He announced back to ME, that no, our future kids did NOT need to be rebellious and that if we trained them up in the Lord, we could skip all that rebellious nonsense. I looked at my future husband skeptically (what a goof I was). I gave him a, 'Well, we'll seeeeee' look. Sure, dear. You just keep thinking positively.

Guess what. He was right. 100% correct. My older, wiser, soon-to-be husband knew the truth. He knew God's word. He blew off the world's way of thinking and insisted that I must, too. So many years have passed. My word, three teen boys live in my home! My quiet home. My God-honoring home. Are my boys perfect? Oh...far from it. Do they fear the Lord? Do they respect Paul and me? Do they love each other? Do we have their hearts? YES. You want the "secret?" Here it is: Shelter them. They're yours, gifted by God. Train them up in the admonition of the Lord. Keep them near you. Expect obedience, insist on it. Hold them accountable. Give them lots of responsibilities - and plenty of space. But keep your eyeballs fastened tightly to that space. The key is relationship, too. Be interested in them. Let them drone on and on about their latest software application or musical composition (Paul and Luke, respectively, there!). Love them but not as a pansy best friend. Love them with strength and resolve. With seriousness, firmness. They'll thank you for it later, and you will be blessed. God's way (His word) is always the best way.

- Gena

More Secrets to a Happy Marriage

After my post a several days ago regarding "The Secret To A Happy Marriage" it got me thinking. After being married for 18 years I may have learned a few things about marriage.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT profess to be an expert and a lot of people have been married a lot longer than my husband and I. I know there are a lot more words of wisdom out there but a lot of them are not sharing. In an attempt to help those that have been married less than 18 years I want to share some things I have learned. If it is helpful, let me know. If you have some advice let us all know. I would LOVE your comments.

I am going to share something that I heard recently at a homeshcool support group. It sums up. in a better way, some of my own feelings about marriage. Yes, you might find it a bit surprising regarding the source. I am really blessed to be in an awesome homeschool group with an awesome leader. Some of the information that was shared came from here.

Today's information is geared toward wives so husbands need not read any further. ;-)

We were reminded that although you hear all the time, "the husband is the head of the household" the correct way of thinking is "the husband is the head of YOU".......Ouch! That sure changes things doesn't it?

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Eph. 5: 22-23

If we let our husbands be the head of us it will naturally trickle down to the rest of the family. When the children see Moms respect and attitude toward Dad they will follow. I have seen this in my own home. The way the children see the parents respecting each other is how they will treat their parents also.

The comment was also made that we should be serving our husbands and training our children. A lot of times we get this backwards and try to serve our children and train our husbands. Stop and think about that for a minute....

Sadly, you can look around you and see the results of parents that have been serving their children. It is not good. Not good for the parent and certainly not good for the children. My husband has had the attitude from the beginning of our marriage that the children will eventually grow up and move out. He has even reminded our children of that! (That is a good thing. It really helps them put the correct perspective and priority on marriage and children.) There is a time frame for having children in our homes. Before the children were there and when the children are gone your spouse will be there. If we spend our lives serving our children by the time they move out it is going to be difficult to say the least. That is why I believe so many people look at each other when the children move out and realize they do not have a close connection. They lost their intimacy. Who is this other person? Sometimes that marriage even ends in divorce. Very sad.

We need to value and protect the marriage relationship. It is so important. That is what the family is based on. If we value and protect the relationship with our children and let the marriage go we end up hurting the children and the marriage. Children want to grow up in a family with both of their parents loving each other. We should make sure our children see that so they will do the same in their marriages. It is important for the children to see the love and commitment between the parents. It is comforting to them and gives them a sense of stability.

If we work at serving our husbands there will still be a good relationship when the children move out. I try to remember to serve my husband but I am guilty of trying to train him from time to time. Although that is a mistake getting that little reminder is also a relief.

One less thing I have to do.

God Is Still Holding You Responsible

I read an excellent thing today. Well, painful in a way but also excellent. That is how the corrections of God are at times though. The type in bold is what really got my attention. All parents should read this....

Parents, there are things that cannot wait, and this is one of them—training up a child in the way that he should go. You have to understand that your time with your children is running out. It is slipping away, and God is still holding you responsible.

In Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is a succinct statement of parental responsibility.

Deuteronomy 6:4-5 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.

Parents, this is the pre-cursor to rearing children the right way. You have to love God this way first.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words which I command you this day shall be in your heart: And you shall teach them diligently unto your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the posts of your house and on your gates.

That brief description covers virtually every part of every day, because God is saying that no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what comes into your life, every day you should be reflecting the mind of God in your own life, in your own speech, and in your own attitude. In addition to that, reinforcing your example by teaching the children verbally. God is saying that everywhere that child looks he should see examples of the way of God, not only in the way you work, but in the work itself....

You can read all of this article here.

I think every parent should get a copy of this on their way home from the hospital with their new born baby. I think they should get a copy of it again when their children start middle school, when they start high school, and again at the beginning of their senior year! Time to go help my middle schooler and senior! :-)

Secret To A Happy Marriage?

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Psst, want to hear a secret?

Will Smith and I agree on something 100%. Can you imagine what a Hollywood celebrity and an Oklahoma housewife/Mom agree on? The secret to a happy marriage is....

are you ready...here it is....

RULE OUT DIVORCE!

So true. If you don't believe it about Will and I, just click here for the proof.

More importantly, on day one my husband and I agreed on this as well. (We have seen the damage caused by divorce. We know the heart ache and the suffering that adults do and that children have to endure.) If you know that divorce is not an option you realize it is up to YOU to be happy. You can't afford to sit around wondering when he (or she) is going to make you happy. You either make it work and be happy together or don't make it work and be miserable together. I for one prefer to be happy.

Also, the link above here mentions couples that throw around the word "divorce" when they are angry (and sometimes just kidding). My husband and I believe that is a big mistake. I used to know a couple and he would tell her if, for example there wasn't any more ice cream that it was "grounds for divorce". He did this often in front of me. Guess what? They eventually divorced. Your words are powerful. The Bible says, 'out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks' Matt. 12:34.

How true! Don't think it, don't say it, and don't divorce.

Here is a bonus for you wives or 'some day wives' out there. Check out this link on ways to show your husband that you love him. If you are the husband check out this link regarding your wives.

What Are You Doing To Save The Planet?

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I just had to share this poster with you. It really made me smile. It also reminded me of something.

The other day I opened an email from a company I will not name (it really could be any of them) and it had a little poll on the side. The question was,"What are you doing to save the planet"? Hmm, the options didn't fit me and I was hoping to add one. After these options...."recycling" "driving less", etc. I wanted to add "I had 2 children to replace me and my hubby when we are gone!" Oops, I suppose that will not please the environmentalists. That is more like saving humanity instead of the planet. But still it is an 18 year + commitment. And on top of that I am raising them NOT be self hating and ignorant.

I am so tired of everyone going "green". It really is becoming so PC and nauseating. How much more can a person take? Can't people see there is a money trail in all of this? Follow the money. This has all been a huge money maker for a lot of people. When we go "green" by not driving as much we are hurting the "evil oil companies". What about the "evil mortgage companies" that are being saved by the government with our money? I say that insurance companies and credit card companies are much worse. You are just a number to them. They don't care about us. They are all about making money....just like the oil companies. Is anyone impressed with the green logos any more? My favorite dish washing soap went green recently. My daughter wanted me to protest by not even buying it. Golly, gee whiz, I have to clean my dishes and the rest of them are competing too.

That green label means nothing more to us than the company is trying to give us the illusion that they "care more than the other company". Hey, I wish they would care more about teaching their teens to dress modestly instead of worrying about their green label. I wish they would be caring about what kind of stuff they are sponsoring on TV rather than giving us a "green" logo-hello- rebellion, promiscuity, drugs, etc. I wish they would be less concerned about making a car that runs on corn and realize we need to eat that stuff and not burn it up! I wish they would save the HUMANS on the planet by worrying less about the life of owls and whales and put some concern into HUMAN babies being killed in their mothers wombs.

Genesis 2
15And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
19And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field...

Kind of gives you the impression that it was God's intention to put Adam (man kind) in charge and to rule over the animals.

Not the other way around.

The animals and the planet are here for us.

Not the other way around.

We are pretty proud when we think that this entire planet that God made is too wimpy to support humanity. Did God not see into the future when HE created this world? On the flip side, nobody promised THIS earth would last forever. Nobody promised every type of animal, bug, and fungus would last forever. There is a time for all things. When HE says the time is over, it is over. We are not in charge of that.

I am off now. I am going to get in my gas guzzling Taurus, drive all the way to the grocery store, and see how much food prices have gone up for today. Hey, people it has been over 100 degrees here so don't even think I am riding my bike! Save the planet? Save me from heat exhaustion! If I get mad enough I just might go chop down a tree. Hey, I just remembered something my husband now has a chain saw.

That will make things easier.

Have a great day!

Also, check out evilconservatives.com

Yes, it is loaded with sarcasm but makes a point.

Homeschool Foundation?

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Homeschooling Moms, what do you think of this article?



If someone had asked me 11 years ago, when I first began to home school, if Christ was our schools foundation I would have responded, "Well, of course HE is! We study the Bible each morning, memorize scriptures daily, read Christian biographies and work on character training plus all of our textbooks and curriculum are Christian based." Over the past two years the Lord has slowly began to unveil the truth that, even though we were ‘doing’ a lot of the ‘right and godly’ things in our homeschool, our foundation was not in Christ as much as my own works, effort and curriculum.

This seems to be a common trap amongst home schooling families. We want so desperately to 'do it right', to be the very best parents that we can in order to raise godly children. We want the perfect curriculum or the idealistic schedule to guarantee that our children will become all our hearts desire them to become. We can go for years building a foundation that we believe to be Christ while all the time depending on our own efforts to bring about godly character in our children. As the storms and trials of life beat against this foundation we will begin to see if our faith truly has been Christ or our own efforts .

These are four common symptoms that may reveal a wrong foundation.

1. Confusion: Which curriculum do I use? What is best? Do I use unit studies or workbooks?

2. Overwhelmed: How do I do IT all? How do I homeschool, sew, grow my own wheat to bake bread, birth 20 children, memorize scripture, use only unit studies, run a home business, etc. in order to produce a godly home?

3. Fear- what if I miss something? What if there is a big gap in their learning that I could have prevented? What if they never learn to read? Am I training them up in the way that they should go or is there something else I should be doing? What will happen to my family if my husband makes decisions that I feel are detrimental to our children? What if I train my children wrong and because of it they never become a Christian?

4. Anger and Frustration- "Help, I'm suffocating under this load of things I have to do!!" The mother is angry because of everything that has to be done. She is resentful towards her husbands requests or demands, short-tempered with the children if they mess up the house or request her help with school work. She wakes up with a frown and goes to sleep with one. There is no joy in the home or her heart.

Fear seems to be a common denominator in many of these symptoms. It may be the fear of failing at home schooling our children. We may fear that they will not be able to meet the college requirements. Or that they will never become a Christian. We may even give into the fear of man by comparing ourselves to those who seem to have it all together. We see the pictures and stories on the front of homeschooling magazines and we know that our families fall short of this ideal. A lot of homeschoolers are burdened by an enormous amount of peer pressure. Have you felt it? Do you hear that imaginary voice whispering, "The perfect homeschool mother rises at 5 a.m. to spend time with the Lord, she bakes her own bread from the wheat that she grows on her 10 acre homestead as her 9 children are doing their unit study in the home that the family has built?" Or how about this mindset," The perfect Christian family has a father who leads devotions, a mother who never loses her temper while the family watches no television, and trains their children consistently by the "Growing Kid's God's Way" method. As we compare our family to theirs we see that we fall short of this ‘perfect’ model and live in dread that our children will never reach heaven because of it.

To read the rest of this article click here.

Leadership And YOU!

I am subscribed to Pass The Baton. (You should go check it out.) I saw the man over this at a homeschool convention. I really enjoyed hearing him speak. If you or someone you know need a speaker you have found one.

Their Mission: By 2015, we will mobilize one million adults to pass the baton of culture-shaping leadership to the next generation.

How great is that?

I think his message is very important. Every adult should give this some thought and then ask what we are doing to "pass the baton"?

Anything in bold, I added. Enjoy! Let me know what you think. Come back and leave a comment when you are done reading..........

Dr. J. Robert Clinton, professor of leadership at Fuller Theological Seminary, believes that more than 70 percent of leaders do not finish well.

Most leaders grow weary of the vision they were given by God. They begin to withhold their hearts from others and turn away from the influence they could have. Norm Willis pinpointed the problem in his book The Ancient Path:

The curse of our day is withheld hearts. Some will give their money, give their time, even give to the point of sacrifice and yet all the time withhold the giving of their hearts. The focus of the fourth chapter of Malachi and the first chapter of Luke is on the heart. God is after our hearts, both the giving of our hearts and the receiving of another's heart. The only way the discipleship process can work is if the hearts of the disciple and the "discipler" are given to each other (Kirkland, WA: Christ Church, 1998, pp. 21-22).

Has your heart grown cold to the influence you could have on others? I invite you to read this issue of GRTL to see 5 warning signs about not finishing well, and 10 things we can learn from Jesus about how to finish strong.

**Remember, you can't ever have a new beginning, but you can start today to make a new ending.

Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol and Ken McElrath reported the following in their book The Ascent of a Leader (1999, Jossey-Bass p. 14):

"After having conducted extensive research, Dr. J. Robert Clinton, professor of leadership at Fuller Theological Seminary, believes that more than 70 percent of leaders do not finish well.

"He bases this startling statistic on six criteria, gleaned from common traits among leaders who did not finish well according to their self-analysis, the analysis of their peers and followers, or the teachings of their professed religion.

First, leaders who do not finish well lose their learning posture. They stop listening and growing.
Second, the attractiveness of their character wanes.
Third, they stop living by their convictions.
Fourth, they fail to leave behind ultimate contributions.
Fifth, they stop walking in an awareness of their influence and destiny.
Finally, leaders who finish poorly lose their once vibrant relationship with God."

"It is finished"--10 things we can learn from Jesus about finishing well

Many people intend to finish their work, their ministry, without effectively passing the baton to those who come next. In the church, commerce, politics, education--indeed, every area of life--we could learn from what Jesus did.

After all, in three years of earthly ministry Jesus took 12 ordinary men, equipped them to change the world, and they did it.

Gunther Krallman in his book Mentoring for Mission describes Jesus' discipleship technique (Waynesboro, GA: Gabriel, 2002, p. 124):

his approach was relational

his approach was informal

his approach was oral

his approach was mobile

he modelled

he taught

he enabled practical application

he encouraged

he corrected

he stressed the indispensability of divine empowering

In short, Jesus walked with his disciples so much that his cry on the cross, "It is finished," was not only a proclamation of his conquering of death and sin--it was also a statement of his finished work in training disciples who would take the message of his redemption to the uttermost parts of the earth.

Start with today's youth. Look around. Our youth may only be 15% of the population, but they are 100% of the future.

Don't worry about being formal. Just relate with others and talk about what is important. Model the truth. Ask God to give you daily ways to apply what you know.

Above all, rely on God--not your own knowledge and confidence--for success in preparing those who will succeed you.

Pass The Baton

What About It?

Image Source

There is an excellent blog post on my friend, Kahri's blog. When you are done with that post you can follow it up with this one.

Warning: There is one small line with ADULT language.

After reading it, come back and share your thoughts.

Good News & Bad News Today

I woke up to the bad news first. Have you heard that the Supreme Court has decided that the punishment can't be disproportionate to the crime.

What they are talking about is child r*pe (or molestati*n). (Don't want to write out the words in case some crazy/nasty people are searching for that word. Don't want them checking out my blog just on this topic.) They have decided that only the crimes that involve death should be punished by death. This upsets me in so many ways. Apparently, the last time someone was actually put to death for that crime was in the 60's. I doubt that it was going to be used. However, making a ruling against it just ticks me off. The main thing of course is the trauma and life long problems this causes to children. Acting like death is a "cruel and unusual punishment" for this particular crime is so offensive. What about the victim? Wasn't the crime against the child "cruel and unusual punishment"? Of course it was but we are not concerned with the victim here, only the criminal. Ugh! I could go on for hours about this one but I will spare you.

Now for the good news. The Supreme Court (as wise at it is) has made a ruling that it is NOT unconstitutional for American citizens to be able to own guns. Wow! That is pretty big of them isn't it? I guess it took them this long to read the 2nd Amendment where it says......

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Did you realize that in Washington DC handguns or rifles WERE outlawed except for residents with permits, mainly police or security guards? I read about it here and saw the following quote.

"Washington Mayor Adrian Fenty said the ruling could put more guns in the hands of young people. "I am personally deeply disappointed and quite frankly outraged by today's decision," he said. "Today's decision flies in the face of laws that have helped decrease gun violence in the District of Columbia."

What? Gun violence has decreased in DC? Come on. I would love to see the actual facts on that. I bet the truth is that the decrease in gun violence goes like this. Here is the scenario. Bad guy with gun enters home of law-abiding citizen (of course, law-abiding citizen does NOT have a gun). When bad guy points gun at law-abiding citizen bad guy is able to get anything and everything he wants, thank you for those jewels, money, bonds, giant screen tv's, etc. Where was the violence? Not a shot was fired. Of course not! Didn't have to shoot! Now I want to see the statistics once Mr. & Mrs. Law-Abiding Citizen are able to protect and defend themselves, their family, and their home. Until the the bad guys realize that there could be a gun pointing right back at them the crime may go up a bit. However, once they get it through their heads (or get a bullet) they will realize they are in just as much danger. It won't be worth it. (They are not the smartest bunch you know-so it could take a while.)

I can't believe the Supreme Court did something good today. Hip-hip-hooray!!

What's Wrong With Being A Nice Guy?

I thought this was a very interesting article. My husband has often commented on the "Oprah-ization" of America. I think that could have been added to this article. What do you think?

In an age of suicide bombers, contaminated mail, road rage and rampant rudeness, it seems the last thing we should worry about is an epidemic of overniceness.

But while America slumbers, says Federal Way therapist Robert Glover, an alarming number of men -- maybe 1 in 4 -- are morphing into wimps who live to please and end up pleasing no one.
"I think since World War II, Nice Guys have just proliferated," says Glover, 46, whose focus on "Nice Guy Syndrome" has spawned a best-selling e-book, a growing caseload and a global online community of "recovering Nice Guys."

"Now I'm seeing second- and third-generation Nice Guys coming along," says Glover, who acknowledges he has no hard data beyond clinical observation of a trait he has sought treatment for himself.

His concern is not with generic niceness but a specific constellation of traits such as passivity, conflict avoidance and emotional caretaking that in the past were more commonly associated with women.

Response to Glover's weekly "Nice Guy therapy groups" is so strong, he's about to launch a fourth concurrent group at his Center for Healing and Recovery. Also in the works is an intensive summer workshop he hopes to turn into a global series of events.

But his largest audience is at nomoremrniceguy.com, where he runs an online support group of about 100 members, fields e-mails from around the world and markets his book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy!"

With business so good, Glover theorizes -- debatably-- that he has hit upon a problem for our times. Wading further into roiling waters, he blames Nice-Guyism on an array of 20th-century social change.

His list of causes responsible for creating Nice Guys -- inclusive enough to rile nearly every interest -- includes absent fathers, the anti-war movement of the Vietnam era, the sexual revolution, an educational system that he claims is "dominated by women" and "women's liberation and feminism."

The end result, he argues, is that a lot of male baby boomers and Gen-Xers grew up adopting "a female perspective on masculinity."

For the rest of this article click here.

Care to comment?

Motherhood Too Hard?

Proud Mommy Comments


I read the following story a few days ago.....

When we were going around the world we stopped one day at Thursday Island, and there I heard a sorrowful tale. There is much leprosy on the other side of the world, especially in the tropics. One day, not far from Thursday Island, it was found that a little boy and girl belonging to a good home were lepers. The laws are very strict, and while the wealth of the father of the children was great, it was decided that the family should live alone on another island. The mother stole away with the children and was lost in Sidney for two years, until, strange to say, her children were admitted to the schools. Then the law found them again and they were taken back to the vicinity of Thursday Island, and the law began its operation. The children were separated from the family and sent to the leper island. But how did they become lepers? How? The mother, with her love of social position, thought the cares of motherhood too heavy, so she had a South Sea Island woman to care for her children, and she was leprous.

This was the story, and when I heard it and saw what a harvest had come to that woman for the seeds she had sown, I could not withhold my tears. It is hard to sin when sin hurts yourself and tosses you on your bed so that you cannot sleep, and you say: Will the morning never come? But it is harder still to sin and to hurt one's wife and children, or other dear ones. Be not deceived. God is not mocked. For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

The man that spoke the above lived from 1859-1918. His name was Wilbur Chapman. He was an American evangelist, revivalist and pastor. He wrote the words to the hymns One Day, Jesus! What A Friend for Sinners (Our Great Saviour) and 'Tis Jesus.

I am surprised at how much of this sermon applies to today. I have never been able to put my finger on it but this explains it perfectly. I see so many woman today that think the cares of motherhood are too heavy. Other things are more important to them. Usually, it is money but it can also be time, activities, social status, or other people. It breaks my heart to see the mother that misses out on all the blessings her children have to offer. They miss out on all the love that comes so naturally from a child to it's mother.

Of course, the child misses out on so much as well. What life experiences can Mother teach her children? What lessons has Mother learned that she can spare her children from? How will they know? Who will teach them these things? Who will teach them about giving unselfishly to others? Who will teach them manners and what is appropriate? Who will teach them that it truly is more blessed to give than to receive? Who will teach them right from wrong? Who will teach them why we do the things we do or why we shouldn't do the things we do? Who will take the time? Who cares about your children more than you do? There isn't anyone on this planet that cares more about your children than you, dear Mother. You are it. It you don't have the time or the concern no one else will. Your children rely on you. They count on you and trust in you. Even when we, as Mothers, do not deserve it they are still loving us and looking up to us.

In our society it is a terrible cycle. The burden of motherhood is too heavy to many. The mother is too busy with church activities, or is busy with social activities, is just too busy. She wants her social life, her job, or something else more than she desires to be a good mother. However, when she is with the child she feels guilty. She often withholds affection (saving her affections for other things or other people) and lavishes things upon the child (toys, clothes, gifts, candy, etc.) because of her guilt. Later, as the child grows she has not spent the time to teach and train the child. The child then becomes difficult, rebellious, or worse. The child often becomes resentful towards the mother and demanding. Often, the child becomes what the parent has created in selfishness, materialism, and total rebellion. Of course, the child is selfish and materialistic. Mother taught them that loves is shown through things. When you feel unhappy here is a new toy, some candy, or a new outfit. Of course, the child is rebellious. As you were busy you felt too much guilt to discipline when you were around the child. How can you discipline and cause any sadness in the life of your child when you have given nothing else? You haven't given love, affection, or time and now you are going to give discipline? As the love, affection, and time go so will the discipline.

Then the mother does not like the child. Sadly, she is the one that created the child the way it is. I hate seeing this but I am seeing it more and more.

There is no respect and honor given to mothers in a lot of cases. Mothers are often seen as "only mothers". Without a career and/or social standing being a mother is not seen as enough. How sad for the children. How sad for the Mother.

Being a Mother is not just giving birth. It is a life time commitment. With such a long commitment comes life long rewards though.

The generation I grew up in was the generation where divorce was starting to happen a lot more often. Once the parents were divorced Mother had to go to work full time. That started the generation of latch-key kids. This was the beginning of the generation of kids that came home to empty houses and often left for school without a hug or kiss from Mom. Breakfast from Mom? Who had time for that? I guess these girls grew up thinking that was normal. It is no big deal to not have Mom at home, right? Now those girls are Mothers. It seems that most homes are empty when the children come home or they are with babysitters all day or in school. At the end of the day Mother is tired. The sacrifice is too great. Mother just wants to rest and not deal with an unruly child.

When does Mother love, nurture, teach, and train her little darlings?

Dear Mothers listen to me. Motherhood is not too hard. Giving of yourself to your children and your family is not a burden too difficult. Yes, you give and you can grow weary. Like all other things in life that kind of giving is really worth it though. You can't give more than you will get. No other creature on earth will love and adore you unconditionally. Eventually, they will see your faults but they will also see your love. Don't let someone else raise your children. Don't lose your very own children to this world. Give them them the time and the love they need.

When you die you can't take your social status or activities with you.

You can take your children with you.

The cares of motherhood are NOT too hard.

Being a mother is an honor.

Being a mother changes lives.

Being a GOOD mother changes lives in a positive way.


Proverbs 31
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

To read the entire sermon, above, click here.

Born That Way?

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7,8

Don't believe it when they say "they are born that way". That would make God an unjust God. He is not. That would mean HE punishes for something he has created. HE did not create sin and did not create homosexuality. As we have been told, The TRUTH will set you free. Check out this article below.

The debate over homosexual "marriage" often becomes focused on whether homosexuality is a learned behavior or a genetic trait. Many homosexual activists insist that "science" has shown that homosexuality is inborn, cannot be changed, and that therefore they should have the "right to marry" each other.

Beginning in the early 1990s, activists began arguing that scientific research has proven that homosexuality has a genetic or hormonal cause. A handful of studies, none of them replicated and all exposed as methodologically unsound or misrepresented, have linked sexual orientation to everything from differences in portions of the brain,1,2 to genes,3 finger length,4 inner ear differences,5 eye-blinking,6 and "neuro-hormonal differentiation."7

Meanwhile, Columbia University Professor of Psychiatry Dr. Robert Spitzer, who was instrumental in removing homosexuality in 1973 from the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental disorders, wrote a study published in the October 2003 Archives of Sexual Behavior. He contended that people can change their "sexual orientation" from homosexual to heterosexual.8 Spitzer interviewed more than 200 people, most of whom claimed that through reparative therapy counseling, their desires for same-sex partners either diminished significantly or they changed over to heterosexual orientation. Although still a proponent of homosexual activism, Spitzer has been attacked unmercifully by former admirers for this breach of the ideology that people are "born gay and can't change." Immutability is a central tenet of demands for "gay rights" and "gay marriage."

Because no single study can be regarded as definitive, more research on people who have overcome homosexuality needs to be done. But a considerable body of previous literature about change from homosexuality to heterosexuality has been compiled, and the sheer number of exceptions to the "born gay" theory should be a warning to researchers and media to proceed with caution before declaring that science has "proved" that homosexuality is genetic.9 .......


The Twins Study

In 1991, J. Michael Bailey and Richard C. Pillard published a study that examined identical and fraternal twin brothers and adopted brothers in an effort to establish a genetic link to homosexuality. Fifty-two percent of the identical twins were reportedly homosexual, while only 22 percent of fraternal twins fell into the same category. But since identical twins have identical genetic material, the fact that nearly half of the identical twins were heterosexual effectively refutes the idea that homosexuality has a genetic basis.35

"This finding alone argues for the enormous importance of nongenetic factors influencing homosexuality," writes Dr. Jeffrey Satinover, "because … in order for something to be genetically determined, as opposed to merely influenced, the genetic heritability would need to approach 100 percent." Satinover, a psychiatrist, notes that "identical twins reared together share more significant environmental influences than nonidentical twins reared together," and that narcissism, a key component of homosexuality, is more likely among identical twins who "grow up with mirror images of themselves."37 (Italics in original.)

In his analysis of the medical evidence purportedly supporting a biological cause of homosexuality, Dr. Byne noted other twin studies:

Without knowing what developmental experiences contribute to sexual orientation the effects of common genes and common environments are difficult to disentangle. Resolving this issue requires studies of twins raised apart.38

Other physicians have also criticized the study for overvaluing the genetic influence.39

Dr. Byne's arguments might lead some activists to label him a "homophobe." He is, in reality, quite the contrary. Byne readily advocates societal acceptance of homosexuality and "gay rights," but nevertheless concludes, "Most of the links in the chain of reasoning from biology to social policy [regarding homosexuality], do not hold up under scrutiny."40

Bailey conducted another study in 1999, published in the March 2000 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which actually showed less possible genetic influence on homosexuality than the first twins study. He sent a questionnaire to the entire Australian Twin Registry. Only three pairs of identical male twins were both homosexual out of a total of 27 in which at least one was homosexual. Of the 16 fraternal male twins, none of the pairs was both homosexual. Bailey found similar results for lesbians.41

Finish the article here.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7,8

The Easy Way To Parent

Image source found here.

Don't worry about teaching consequences. You will always be there to bail them out, right? We don't want them to grow up too fast anyway. Who says you have to act like an adult, just because you are 30. Can't we all just be like Peter Pan?

Don't worry about what they watch on TV. They are going to hear that stuff or see that stuff one day anyway. You can't shelter them forever. Based on that logic, I see no reason to wait another minute.

Don't worry about what they listen to on the radio or what kind of music they listen to. Who says children/teens develop bad attitudes based on the kind of music they listen to? Just because they sing along to their favorite songs about violence and sexual escapades doesn't mean they will become violent, go to jail, have children out of wedlock, or catch some disgusting disease. I am sure Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and all those other female teen idols never listened to "that kind of music".

Don't worry about what they wear. Let them wear whatever they want. See comment above....I am sure you will be proud as can be when your girls dress like hookers at 14, 16, 21 and so on.

Don't worry about how they talk to you or any other adults. Respect is really not that important. After all, they probably will never have to be respectful to their minister, a police officer, an elderly adult, a boss, or a judge. I am sure they will get along just fine.

Don't worry about the way your children treat their siblings. Who cares if they can get along with others? It isn't like they will work in society, have a social life, get married, or have children of their own one day. Getting along is pretty over rated. That is why we don't have gang wars, violence, and run of the mill country wars any more....oh, wait...I guess we do.

Don't worry about teaching them the value of money. Money isn't all that important. Who needs it? As long as you work non stop you can just give them YOUR money. Why should they have to work. Uh oh, what about those pesky grand babies...who will take care of them?

Don't worry about teaching your children kindness and compassion. They could never make a difference in the life of a neighbor, elderly person, unfortunate youth, friend, or family member anyway.

Don't worry about teaching your children about life and DEATH. Never allow them to go to a funeral or see a dead animal. If they never see death then they will never be afraid, right? We don't ever want to frighten our children with the cold hard facts of life.

{It is better to spend more time at funerals than at festivals. For you are going to die and you should think about it while there is still time (Ecclesiastes 7:2)}

Don't worry about teaching them about God or the value of a relationship with HIM. Do we really need to concern ourselves with what happens in eternity?

{For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appeareth for a little time, and then vanishes away (James 4:14)}.

All of the above is certainly sarcastic but hopefully makes a point. The main point of parenting and of life in general can be summed up in 6 words.

Fear God and keep His commandments (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

Heard At My House Recently

(By the way, doesn't this look like a cool clock radio? Click here to see more about it.)

Well, actually, this conversation was heard in my car and not my house. I just thought it sounded like more fun to say "at my house". Anyway, this conversation actually happened between me and my husband. I thought it was hilarious but he was stumped for a few seconds. It goes, something like this.

Hubby: Our daughter (teenager) is driving me up the wall.

Wife: (wondering to herself what kind of horrific behavior she is exhibiting) Really, what are you talking about?

Hubby: Every radio in the house is turned to THAT station. I try to listen to my favorite "talk radio" shows but every time I turn the radio on the station has been changed.

Wife: (holding back the laughter momentarily) You mean, that crazy teenage daughter of yours has gone all around the house changing the radio station to THAT CRAZY CHRISTIAN music? That same radio station that we ALL like? You have got to be kidding me? Do you hear yourself? (Then the laughter ensues.) Wife then explains how silly it is that hubby thinks his daughter has turned his life upside down by wanting to listen to uplifting, encouraging, moral, happy, Christian music. Then she goes on to remind him that other teenagers actually listen to terrible music that gives their parents the right to complain. ;-)

Oh, the many trials of being in a Christian homeschooling family. These crazy teens can drive you right up the wall with their loud Christian music. (snicker, snicker)

Are You Really An Adult?

Here is an interesting little guide. How do you rate? How do your teenagers rate? As I was telling my teen age daughter last night, our job as parents is to teach them how to rely on themselves. How are we doing? I am sure we all have room for improvement. However, using this as a gauge for our current society I think we are sadly lacking in adults in this country.

Diane Dumas and Robert Epstein reviewed academic literature, interviewed adults, and consulted with professionals before concluding that there are 14 different "competencies" that distinguish adults from non-adults:

Love. Adults know the difference between sex and love and know what it means to experience love.

S*x. Adults know about making babies, about self-control, about being pure.

Leadership. Adults know how to act as leaders of others adults, of children, of pets.

Problem solving. Adults know the difference between right and wrong and are able to solve a wide variety of problems.

Physical abilities. Adults are supposed to be physically self-sufficient.

Verbal and math skills. Adults know "reading, 'riting and 'rithmatic" and can apply what they know to their stewardship of time and money.

Interpersonal skills. Adults know how to converse with, show respect for, forgive, apologize to, get along with, and assist other people.

Handling responsibility. Adults know to accept blame for their wrongdoing and how to honor the commitments they've made.

Managing high-risk behaviors. Adults know how to handle risky items and activities responsibly.

Managing work and money. Adults know how to get and keep jobs.

Education. Adults have obtained a basic education and know its value.

Personal care. Adults practice basic hygiene and good nutrition.

Self management. Adults can mange their own behavior: keeping appointments, accomplishing tasks, and preventing their anger from getting out of control.

Citizenship. Adults know about government and how to be good citizens.

Source: Robert Epstein, The Case Against Adolescence (Sanger, CA: Quill Driver, 2007), pp. 148-157.

This article came from this web site. If you haven't already, be sure to check it out.