More Secrets to a Happy Marriage

After my post a several days ago regarding "The Secret To A Happy Marriage" it got me thinking. After being married for 18 years I may have learned a few things about marriage.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT profess to be an expert and a lot of people have been married a lot longer than my husband and I. I know there are a lot more words of wisdom out there but a lot of them are not sharing. In an attempt to help those that have been married less than 18 years I want to share some things I have learned. If it is helpful, let me know. If you have some advice let us all know. I would LOVE your comments.

I am going to share something that I heard recently at a homeshcool support group. It sums up. in a better way, some of my own feelings about marriage. Yes, you might find it a bit surprising regarding the source. I am really blessed to be in an awesome homeschool group with an awesome leader. Some of the information that was shared came from here.

Today's information is geared toward wives so husbands need not read any further. ;-)

We were reminded that although you hear all the time, "the husband is the head of the household" the correct way of thinking is "the husband is the head of YOU".......Ouch! That sure changes things doesn't it?

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Eph. 5: 22-23

If we let our husbands be the head of us it will naturally trickle down to the rest of the family. When the children see Moms respect and attitude toward Dad they will follow. I have seen this in my own home. The way the children see the parents respecting each other is how they will treat their parents also.

The comment was also made that we should be serving our husbands and training our children. A lot of times we get this backwards and try to serve our children and train our husbands. Stop and think about that for a minute....

Sadly, you can look around you and see the results of parents that have been serving their children. It is not good. Not good for the parent and certainly not good for the children. My husband has had the attitude from the beginning of our marriage that the children will eventually grow up and move out. He has even reminded our children of that! (That is a good thing. It really helps them put the correct perspective and priority on marriage and children.) There is a time frame for having children in our homes. Before the children were there and when the children are gone your spouse will be there. If we spend our lives serving our children by the time they move out it is going to be difficult to say the least. That is why I believe so many people look at each other when the children move out and realize they do not have a close connection. They lost their intimacy. Who is this other person? Sometimes that marriage even ends in divorce. Very sad.

We need to value and protect the marriage relationship. It is so important. That is what the family is based on. If we value and protect the relationship with our children and let the marriage go we end up hurting the children and the marriage. Children want to grow up in a family with both of their parents loving each other. We should make sure our children see that so they will do the same in their marriages. It is important for the children to see the love and commitment between the parents. It is comforting to them and gives them a sense of stability.

If we work at serving our husbands there will still be a good relationship when the children move out. I try to remember to serve my husband but I am guilty of trying to train him from time to time. Although that is a mistake getting that little reminder is also a relief.

One less thing I have to do.